I had a good friend, Steve Bresnahan, whom I met about 23 years ago, I was 14 then. We were both Atari computer hobbyist and met through online BBS systems. I got to know Steve very well as we hung out often. He was always the nicest person, always eager to help anyone, especially the down-cast people of life whom most people only ignored.

Eventually Steve couldn't deny a feeling of the Holy Spirit pulling on his heart. We didn't talk about it much because I wasn't very receptive to his news - I was still pretty rebellious and into the party lifestyle. Over the next couple of years we saw less and less of each other as our lives had less in common. But I did try to stay in touch. Eventually I didn't know how to find him anymore.

About nine years ago I found the Lord - the same Lord whom I know Steve had dedicated his own life to serving. After that point I had tried on many occasions to track Steve down many times- unsuccessfully. I truly wanted to share with him the good news.

I tried again last Tuesday night as something with computers reminded me of him again. This time I was able to access some Pinellas County public records relating to his estate. Upon examining them I saw that it stated he was deceased. My heart skipped a few beats. I then searched through the Saint Petersburg Times newspaper archives and found his obituary stating his death about ten years ago. I couldn't believe it.

I found Steve's father's name in the obituary and was able to do a Google search and then found his e-mail address. Steve's father confirmed his death.

Here is the message I received:

"[Steve died in an] Auto accident. I suppose you know Steve worked with the homeless in Florida. There was a woman that he had helped get an apartment. She needed money and the day it happened, he went to work, picked up his paycheck, cashed it and took her some money. On his way back to work a van broadsided his car on the driver's side. The impact severed an artery to his heart and although they worked on him in surgery for hours trying to save him, it was too late. I'm an atheist, but Steve was a born-again Christian. If you believe the story in the New Testament about the Good Samaritan, then doing what he did was just about a guarantee of instant sainthood. The people I met in Florida at his memorial service all seemed to act as if they believed that. Even for an atheist, stuff like that strikes me as pretty cool. "

I have been grieving the loss all week. Although it happened a decade ago I am still in disbelief. I always looked forward to sharing with Steve the good news of my salvation and talking with him about our experiences. I suppose we may get to talk in our new lives.

The whole thing seems so surreal and I can't stop thinking about it. Especially the fact that he was in the middle of an act of being such a servant to the Lord's people - like he always had done. The world has suffered a tremendous loss indeed.

There are many lessons to be taken from this experience - some of which I'm sure I haven't fully realized yet. The foremost being, we truly don't know what the Lord has dictated for our lives from one second to the next. We should live our lives as if we believe that.

I can't help but wonder why the Lord would allow Steve, a true servant, who always sacrificed his life for others, to be taken like that. I don't know. I wish I did. Does God allow the enemy to physically harm us? I know the enemy strongly attacks those who are following the Lord's will. I know from my own experience that when I am getting closer to God, doing the right things - that's when I feel Satan's presence. But can he actually interact physically with us? I suppose so...

As a memory to Steve I wanted to post his obituary here:

BRESNAHAN, STEPHEN CRANE, 35, of Clearwater, died Friday (Dec. 13, 1996) at All Children's Hospital, St. Petersburg. He was born in Newark, N.J., and moved to Clearwater in 1995 from Dunedin, where he had lived for several years. He worked as a pager programer for Air Touch Paging and was associated with the Refuge Ministry in St. Petersburg. He served as a volunteer with the Street Ministry of Homeless Christian Community. Survivors include his mother, Anmarie (Bresnahan) Souza, Clearwater; his father, Dr. Daniel Bresnahan, Bloomfield, N.J.; and a sister, April Russo, Belleville, N.J. Gee and Sorensen Funeral Home, St. Petersburg.