As a child, and into my young-adult years, I had a fear that dictated my life. It started at a very young age and, in one way or another, grew to envelop most of my everyday life.

It was a fear of death. I didn't necessarily fear the act of dying, it was more of fear of not existing anymore. I remember thinking about being dead and then trying to grasp the idea of 'dead forever'. I tried to imagine how long eternity was. I would imagine one hundred, one thousand, one million years - all the tiniest speck of the never-ending eternity.

I suppose it seams silly now, trying to grasp eternity in relationship to time is impossible. But, the thought of being dead forever scared me in such a way that I couldn't deal with thinking about it. It was such a deep-down fear that, as I got older, I started using drugs to numb my mind. I wanted to surround myself with as many distractions as possible to keep my mind from thinking about the inevitable. It worked to some degree, but the thoughts of the eternal still surfaced from time to time.

By God's grace, He called to me in the midst of my self indulgent life style and I responded. At that point I knew the hope and peace that can only come from a relationship with our Creator. He has a plan for us and it is not to spend eternity any other place that with Him, in His Kingdom.

Often times I can become complacent and forget about the fearful life I used to lead and the byproducts that manifested through that lifestyle. But, when I reflect on the hope and peace I now have, I realize what an awesome place that is to be - in the arms of our Lord.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

Romans 5:1-2